This blog is called: I Heart Mimi Phillips

This evening our wedding officiant, Mimi Phillips, came over for a visit so we could discuss the progress we've made on our wedding ceremony.  Wow, she's amazing!  I don't think we could have found a sweeter more understanding person to marry us {again} if we'd looked for two more years.  She remembered us on a such a personal level from only one meeting, and even wanted to know how our wine turned out - which we told her we were going to make several months ago.

Back in October when we met Mimi for the first time she loaned us a book called The Wedding Ceremony Planner and we've been reading through it for a couple of months.  Aside from the fact that the author lives in the town next over from where Ryan grew up, I love this book because it breaks down every little part of the ceremony and has worksheets in the back (which appeals to the teacher in me).  We picked out all the different wording that we wanted for the parts of the ceremony and wrote down our favorites on a photocopy of one of the worksheets.  We even found a tree planting ritual in the book, which is absolutely perfect for us, and we are really excited to include this in our ceremony.

We found that, although this took a good chunk of time to do, it was really easy and very worth it.  Thankfully, Ryan and I agreed almost unanimously on which wording was the best for us; however, we are still having trouble finding the right vows.  We didn't really feel like any of the vows in this book fit our personalities, and we can't seem to find what we are looking for on the internet.

This is where Mimi comes in.  She came over to our house and we all sat down together to look at what Ryan and I had been working on over the last several months.  Mimi looked at our worksheet and copies from the book and then dove right in reading aloud the ceremony as we had planned it thus far.  It was really nice to hear her read it aloud, since she will be the one reading it on the day of our ceremony, and it gave us a chance to edit as we went when we heard something that didn't seem right.  Our next step, now that the three of us have combed through the wording, is for Mimi to type everything up and let us look at it, and then work together on finding or creating the vows that are perfect for us.  She plans to practice reading our ceremony a few times and let us know how long it takes her to read.  We are concerned about length, because it will be a July afternoon and could be very hot.

After we looked through the ceremony plans, Mimi stayed for a little while to chat.  We talked about what we have planned so far, looked at pictures of the ceremony site, and ogled over our new wedding rings.  This was especially important because we also had the opportunity to talk to Mimi about our lives on a more personal level and discuss things unrelated to the wedding.  She helped us brainstorm some ideas for things we are having trouble with, and counseled us a little bit on how to deal with Ryan's divorced parents during the ceremony and reception.  This was really important to us, because there are some things that we are going to need some outside perspective in figuring out how to handle, and she has probably seen just about every situation out there at this point in her officiating career!

Mimi is such a great person that we even recommended her to our close friends Erin and Mike, who are getting married in August.  It may seem weird to some people, but I think it would be really cute for us to have the same officiant, and I know that we would really like to see Mimi again after our ceremony!

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The Wedding Binder

Among the many reasons why I am like Monica from Friends, this one I'd like to share with you today...

...the Wedding Binder (capitalized for importance)!

I know that many (maybe even most) women who are planning a wedding put together a binder to help keep track of what/who/when/where/and how many, but when I first started this thing I was clueless!  I knew I needed to keep track of things, but I didn't really know yet which things were the most important.  Throughout all of my research on the internet and magazines, any time I saw something I liked, it went straight in the binder.  I had categories set up, but I learned pretty quickly that what I at first thought was important (hair) really needed to step aside for other things (budget).  Now that I know better, I've narrowed down my binder to the following important categories:

1. Location (...location, location! <-- this is what happens to your brain after you buy a house)  This means the ceremony location and the reception location (even if you think at first that they are going to be held in the same place).  This section started off as a bunch of printouts from websites of venues that I had researched and liked and potentially wanted to visit.  I ordered them front to back, with the ones I liked the best in the front.  Then I made some appointments, we made some visits, and we pulled out the ones that we didn't like any more.  Now that we have decided on a venue for the ceremony and the reception, those places are the only two that I left in this section of the binder.  This section contains basic web printouts, notes we took on visits, drafts of our contracts, our actual contracts, and receipts for payment deposits.  In the beginning I thought that I would want to keep even the information from places we didn't like, sort of like a souvenir of my research process, but I have recently come to realize that the only place of importance is our actual venue, and that's all I want to remember.  (Copperfield)

2. Photographer  In this section I am keeping contracts, paperwork, and ideas for photos that I like, as well as payment receipts.  I also keep a few notes that our photographer wrote to us, because I love her so much and it makes me feel good to read them again!  Just like the location section, this section started off with basic information about photographers I liked from the internet, and then it got smaller and smaller as we had interviews and chose our perfect match.  (Tiffany Wayne)

3. Officiant  I don't expect this section to be very large, but here is where I am keeping basic papers from our officiant, our contract, and copies of our receipts.  I think that I will also use this section for the creation of our ceremony, since the officiant is the one who will be running it for us.  We have borrowed a book from her about planning the ceremony, and I intend to photocopy specific pages and put those worksheets here.  (Mimi Phillips)  

4. Music & DJ In this section of my binder I can find anything that has to do with music. Our contract with the DJ, payment receipts (notice a trend here - keep track of your money!), and songs that we want to play. Our DJ also sent us a form where we can write down any traditional dances that we would like to include. Since our reception is going to include camping games, and I will need the DJ's help with this, those materials will kept in this section as we create them.

5. Guests  Pretty straightforward.  This is where we are keeping our guest list.  As it gets closer, I will include spreadsheets with addresses, accommodations (for people who are staying at the inn), and RSVP's to invitations with meal choices.  (this image is censored to protect the innocent)

6. Plan  Everyone needs a plan!  I am currently using one I found online, but they are all over the place on the internet and in wedding magazines.  They are all pretty much the same (which is comforting) and I have been using mine like a checklist.  I wrote down the month at the top of each section, and then I have a post it on my computer desktop with everything from the checklist that needs to be done that month.  (wedding channel)

7. Budget  Although this is one of the first things that a couple should create together, it is located at the back of my binder.  I'd like to say that there is some highly intelligent reason why it's in the back, but there isn't.  I just don't want to think about money (and how much this is all going to cost), so after we created the budget I just stuck it in the back.  Once you figure it all out, you can pretty much remember how much you have to spend on the important aspects of the wedding. 

8. Other  This is where everything else goes (for now)!  Here I can find inspirations for decorations, hairstyles, invitations, pretty much everything else that doesn't fit into the other categories.  This is by far the most colorful section of my binder, and one of the most fun, since I pulled most of the pages from magazines.

Although this is the best way for me to organize my Wedding Binder, I do not know if it is the best way for everyone.  What I do know, is that I have found this binder to be extremely helpful in my planning process.  Weddings are overwhelming and there have been times when I felt as though I was lost and didn't know what I was supposed to be doing, but having this binder (and especially the planning checklist) brought me right back to reality and allowed me to focus on just one task at a time.  I recommend that every couple who are planning a wedding have at least some sort of organizational system to keep track of things, something that even the most unorganized person could feel comfortable with.  Find what works for you!


If you don't feel like creating your own binder, there are tons of great ones available to buy that are already organized and ready for you to use!
  

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Officiant Success!

With the help our superhero photographer, we finally found an officiant!

This morning at our home we had the pleasure to meet with Miriam (Mimi) Phillips from Personally Spiritual Wedding Ceremonies.  Before her visit, Mimi and I were in contact through email, where I gave her some basic information about our ceremony.  While here, our conversation was able to flow very easily and smoothly and we were helped to realize that there are quite a few areas of planning that we had not considered before.  Mimi asked us questions, let us tell her information that we wanted to share, and she gave us a lot of materials to look at when we have some time, including copies of ceremonies which she has performed in the past and also a book about planning wedding ceremonies.  Mimi also provided us with documentation of her reverend status and explained the process she went through to be ordained.

We felt very comfortable with her and knew right away that we want to work with her.  (Also, her fees are extremely reasonable, especially considering the costs we had been quoted from other officiants!)  Our plan is to have a simple rehearsal, for which we are not being charged extra because it will only include three people or so.

One of the best things we liked about our meeting this morning is that Mimi did not push us at all to make a decision today, and even offered to provide us with references for other officiants if we felt that she was not right for us.  She did not want us to sign a contract today and wanted us to think about it for a little while first.  Ultimately, we spent about 30 seconds thinking about it after she left before we decided that she was perfect for us - which is probably not what she had in mind, but this is the way we work.  I've learned throughout this planning process that we can almost always tell right away which vendors and professionals are right for us, usually within the first five minutes of meeting with them.  Follow your gut has been our rule all along, and I think it is some very sound advice.

Overall, we are thrilled to have found Mimi and we could not be happier that she will be the officiant for our ceremony!

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No one wants to (re)marry us...

Of all the many steps involved with planning a wedding, I never thought finding the officiant would end up being the hardest part!

The first thing we did was try to contact the judge who married us the first time at the town court.  After emailing and sending a written letter (because I didn't get an email response after a week), then waiting another week, we finally got the following response through email:

"Unfortunately Judge S******** in not available to do the ceremony next year.  She can only perform civil ceremonies if there is a valid marriage license.  Good luck." 

[spelling error left in on purpose]

I had never heard of such a thing, but I didn't want to fight it, so I moved on.  I googled "wedding officiant near North Creek, NY" and was directed to a few different places.  I looked at several and picked three to show Ryan, then we narrowed it down to two that we wanted the contact.

The first people we contacted were the Reverends Mary and Denis Cole.  Mary was extremely fast, courteous, and professional in her email response to me, but I was shocked to find out that they would charge us $400.  This fee includes consultations, preparation, and the ceremony, but is way out of our budget.  We aren't looking for anything extremely personalized, and we really felt that $400 was too much for 30-60 minutes worth of work, so we moved on...

The next was Victoria.  We really liked her blog, especially one post where she described her joy at helping a married couple with their vow renewal ceremony.  Again, she was quick, polite, and professional in her email, and again we were horrified at the fee.  This time it was $650!

Are we wrong to think that a judge or minister for a simple vow renewal ceremony should not cost this much?  We are stuck now and do not know what to do next.  Does anyone out there on the web have an idea?

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