A friend's response to: Should we register for gifts?

After reading my most recent blog post, where I questioned whether or not Ryan and I should register for gifts, my brother's girlfriend had the following response:

So I saw your blog about your debate over wedding registries and I can definitely see the dilemma. Jason and I know a couple who had a registry and got so much stuff they had to take it down and asked anyone else who wanted to get them a gift to donate to either Heifer International or the World Hunger something or other.

My opinion would be to maybe have one registry with only a few things you really want and then once those things are purchased, anyone else looking to purchase something you could ask for donations to a charity. This is what happened with Jason's friends, we saw their registry note in the invitation, but when we finally got to ordering, one registry didn't exist anymore and the other had everything already purchased. We ended up asking them about it and they asked us to make a donation to one of two charities of their choice.

...

I wouldn't be good at my job if I also didn't put it out there that The Pampered Chef does wedding registries. Everything will be set up online so people don't have to worry about something being "in stock" at their local Macy's or Target, etc.. They can have stuff shipped to them so they can give it to you at the wedding, or it can be shipped directly to you if they can't make it to the wedding. You will also get free products, discounted products, half-price products, 10% off anything for a year after your wedding and free shipping on your rewards order.

This is just a suggestion and please don't feel obligated to choose The Pampered Chef, but a lot of people don't know we also do wedding registries so I wanted to get you informed!

I think this is an excellent idea and we will most likely have a small registry of a few things that we need, and then from that point on ask people to donate to a charity.  And I would be a good friend if I didn't link to Erica's Pampered Chef store!

To purchase from Erica's store, follow these simple steps:

1. click on "shop online" in the top right corner
2. option 2 is to place an order without being in a show, click on "place an order"
3. a little box will come up warning you that your order will not be on a show; click on "otherwise click here to continue"
4. choose the items you would like to purchase and pay with a credit/debit card.

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Should we register for gifts?

For a normal wedding, the answer to this is absolutely yes... but what about for a couple who is renewing their vows?

Earlier this week I was discussing our wedding planning with a close friend and colleague of mine, and she asked me if we were going to register for gifts.  Up until that moment, we hadn't really given it any thought.  We had sort of just assumed, since we kept our elopement secret for so long, that we didn't really deserve gifts and didn't have the right to ask for any, and therefore didn't need to register.  After all, the reason we are having this ceremony is so that we can share our love for each other with our families and they can participate in our happiness, not so that we can load up on free stuff!

I explained all this to my friend, but she pointed out that some people (meaning herself) are going to insist upon getting us a gift, and that we really should at least have an idea of something that we want or could use, so that they don't get us something we hate.  I started thinking about her point, but I still don't feel comfortable advertising to our family and friends that we are registered, because we don't want people to feel like they have to get us something.  We truly just want to spend a fun celebratory day with them.

After some discussion, we came up with two ideas:
1. Register, but don't advertise that we have registered (meaning - we won't put a little note in with the invitations like I have seen some other people do).  Then, if someone asks us we can tell them where we are registered, but people who weren't planning to get us a gift won't feel obligated or guilty if they see a little registration card.
2. Don't register, and then if people ask us about gifts, we could say that we don't need or want anything, and we would instead like it if they would donate to a charity of their choice.

We still have to make a decision about this, but one of the things I am quickly learning about planning a wedding, is that just when you thought you had it all under control, there will be something else to plan for!

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